Ego

Ok I did it

2009-06-19T19:26:00.001-04:00

I moved to Wordpress. Thank you, and goodnight.

Coronation Street, I love thee

2009-06-18T19:15:00.003-04:00

So about nine months ago, Tony Gordon did something horrible to Maria Connor. Plainly, he had her husband killed, on the night that she was to tell him that she was finally pregnant. On the surface this seems terrible, horrible, wretched. The waters are muddy my friend. Liam Connor(the husband) was having an affair, and at the moment trying to convince his mistress to leave her fiance so that they could run away together(quite literally, through text message, to the woman who was actually WITH Maria at the time) Who is this mistress you say? None other than Ms. Carla Connor, engaged to Tony, widow of Liam's brother. This is all back story, the blog starts here:

Lately I am finding it hard to hate Tony. To begin with, he is a very handsome man. Secondly, he has fallen in love with Maria, and that makes him even more handsome. It's as though it's wiping out the horrible thing that he did. He is sweet, and kind, and sensitive, and for some reason I can't seem to remember to hate him. They give you glimpses of the terrible, controlling man that he really is, when he viciously dumps the hair shop girl(who's name I can never remember, she is new, and ditzy) and makes her slightly afraid of him in the process. I was reading about Alison King aka. Carla Gordon(formerly Connor, she married Tony eventually) a while back and it always sticks out in my mind that there are rumours that she will be back on the street, only to commit murder. Given the current storyline, I can't stop wondering, will it be Maria or Tony? Carla knows that Tony killed Liam, so it is most reasonable that it will be him that she offs. But there is also this nagging voice that it will be Maria, mostly because, after all, it is a soap opera and that is the most dramatic option. Carla will return in August of this year, after Alison Kings maternity leave ends. I don't know if I can wait another 2 months!!!! Ahhhhhh I love me some corrie.

Where the Hot

2009-06-12T09:45:00.005-04:00

Just this morning, I lay in bed listening to the birds, feeling cold. I wondered, where is the hot? Given the cool rainy spring we have had, I surmised that any day now, we'd hit the vicious wall of sticky heat that is a summer in southern Ontario. I haven't been checking the weather lately, what with my frantic job search, except to see what the day will hold. Imagine my surprise when I checked the long term forecast this morning only to see this :

I can not wait for Wednesday, though I should know better, as the Weather Network hates me and always teases my like that.

Whoozat now?

2009-06-09T20:38:00.001-04:00

There is a crazy lady that lives in my building who likes to tell me that everything is going to be Ok. I wonder, does she do this for my benefit, or her own? Often she tells me she went to the school and sorted it out. Now, this woman is blonde, about my height, and of the same shaped face(round). Sometimes I think that she seems someone else when she looks at me, possibly a daughter or neice, and that she has done something for them in the past, and relives it when she sees me. I find her to be fascinating.

Ouch

2009-06-03T23:18:00.001-04:00

Staff meeting tonight. Whmis training. Boo. Three years open. So they gave us champagne, now my head hurts. Screw you sentences.

Early Shift

2009-05-27T17:12:00.001-04:00

This week I have to be at work at 6.45am. Sadly it means no walking, as I must use the car, for I do not wish to have to abandon my nice warm bed, at 5 am! 7.30 shift next week.... maybe walking.... maybe.....

Walking Tour

2009-05-21T21:10:00.003-04:00

I have had the opportunity to walk to(and then from) work twice this week. I really enjoyed it, so much actually that I have told Josh that this summer I want to be the one who takes the bus when it is necessary. He doesn't like it when I walk to work, as I walk along a busy street, and he worries for me. I think that my two adventures this week may have convinced him to not worry so much when I choose to walk. I hope to be doing a lot more walking in the coming months, and I will be bringing my camera(poopie as it is) with me!

Re: Camping

2009-05-21T21:09:00.002-04:00

Camping was fun, but way too cold. Came home after only one night :( Pictures on FB.

Le Camping

2009-05-12T06:39:00.003-04:00

We are finally going camping this weekend. All it took was Josh's friend basically tricking him in to going, but we are off to Balsam Lake early Saturday morning! I am so pumped, as I have not been camping since Josh and I started dating. I really hope that he enjoys it, because I have purchased camping gear now and I plan on using it many times!!!!!! We are now the proud owners of camp dishes and cups(minimizing garbage!!!!), a Coleman air mattress and a beautiful new grill that I will be able to use on our balcony once we return! I really hope we have a good time, I may even bring the hammock!!!! *does the excited dance*

Bad - Acting or Editing

2009-04-30T18:12:00.001-04:00

The dead body by the water on Fringe tuesday night blinked. IT BLINKED! Gay.

The Truth About Bears

2009-04-29T08:06:00.007-04:00

My good friend Bear asked me what I think is wrong with David Boreanaz. As an actor, nothing, he is a good one. I am constantly amused by the method in which he plays his current character, Agent Seeley Booth(a name which has been stolen and added to my "possible names list"), who tends to be funny in a quirky sort of way. It's the man himself I'm too fond of. If you take him apart, he suits the name David, the man is nothing short of a god, with a hard, rippling body that shows barely any trace of fat, a strong jaw and nose, twinkly eyes that crinkle when he smiles, a widely set mouth, an a lush full head of hair. Sounds like a dream, doesn't he? Well, now lets look at him as a whole! The body, still rad, Bear's got me there. The strong jaw and nose? Well my friends, they seem to be disproportionate to the rest of his head/face. Almost as though he needs a stronger jaw, to compete with a large forehead and bulbous head. His ears are too small for his head. His nose could actually be a bit smaller as well. His eyes are deeply sunk, which in some cases can be alluring, but considered with his mouth, is not. Ahhh his mouth. It's a wide and beautiful mouth, which should be lush and kissable, but it is not. When using his very emotive mouth, he can create a very sexy look, but at rest, it is very oddly shaped. Interestingly, his mouth is similar to my husband's, it's all about the way it points up at the sides. Very alluring when properly proportioned, but alas, in order to go up, one must go down, and David's lips have their downturn just a little to close to the middle which when mingled with the fact that at the crest of his upper lip it almost disappears makes his upper lip seem to melting down on the the lower one. This also makes it look like he might be a bad kisser. Also, and I hate to bring it up because it adds fuel to my sister's fire, but what is with his teeth? I think they are rounded, which makes his mouth seem odder sometimes when he opens his mouth. Putting him all together gives him a look that is the reason he is famous, he looks like a lycanthrope.(or a vampire) As a vampire or werewolf, he is hot, hot, wanna do him in the woods right now hot. This doesn't translate well to reality very well for me. As Agent Booth, he is funny, kind, sweet, caring, and even heroic. Just not hot. Maybe Ok. So there.

Good Morning

2009-04-26T04:54:00.001-04:00

It is 5. I've been up since 4.30 pondering this: Sleep or Bones?

I so sad. Such big loser.

Hmmmmm

2009-04-25T07:12:00.004-04:00

Josh's shift at work has changed and now he works ten hours a day, four days a week. He starts Sunday, and his last day is Wednesday. This means that two days a week, while I am at work, josh is at home. It seems he may be bored. I have become much enamoured with the way that he behaves when I get home from work. After being cooped up all day, he is full of energy, and tends to want to wrestle with me for a good hour. I miss this Josh. It's the Josh that isn't bogged down by the horrible working conditions of a tech support agent. It's the Josh I met and fell in love with. I think that I need to get a job that pays about 80k a year so that I can have a house husband. I'd be pretty thin, it's a hard workout fighting off a 6 foot 260lbs man!

Bones

2009-04-22T19:41:00.002-04:00

I never watched the show Bones, mostly because I watched Buffy and Angel and had oreviously concluded that David Boreanaz is really not the best actor. Recently, during a week long flu virus, i started watching it. I am now completely obsessed. I watch several episodes each day, and have caught up to the third season in the last two weeks. One of my favourite things that I like about the show is Dr. Zack Addy, a quirky, odd fellow who groans/moans when he disapproves of what is being discussed. You almost can't hear it when he does it, but it makes me giggle every time. I think a lot of why I like this show is the simple fact that every character is sort of weird. I like weird.

Blog-o-what?

2009-04-22T13:21:00.002-04:00

I am obsessed with blogs. I can't get enough. I believe that it feeds my deeply seeded need for voyeurism and this is why I hunger for more blogging. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at concentrating on one task, and therefore read only about 10 different blogs. The bloggers do not write enough for me, and instead of doing the normal thing(read: finding MORE blogs to read) I do the abnormal(read: get mad at non-blogging bloggers and scream obscenities at my screen) Seriously. What the hell is wrong with me?

<3

2009-04-21T12:25:00.000-04:00

I am sorry. I love you, I really do, but I can't seem to put words to keys lately. I will try harder. I promise.

Bugs

2009-04-01T18:10:00.002-04:00

For some reason, one that I can not explain, I can not stand it when I hear a man say "Mr. So-and-so is my FATHER, Call me Joe" Ugh, even typing it out made me shudder a little. I wish I knew why it bugs me, but I really can't figure it out.

Lost Things

2009-03-26T07:43:00.003-04:00

It's not that easy to find people on FB. I have been looking. I have a small obession with someone who left my life a very very long time ago (about 29 years, thats right after I was concieved if you were wondering) and have been looking lately, more out of an obcene need to be let down than anything, knowing what I know about said person. Alas, with a surname like Douglas, it is nearly impossible, and I am getting frustrated. I get on this kick once every ten years or so. I start wondering what parts of me are there that I don't understand simply because I have never met the person who gave them to me. What parts of me are truely unique and not just shadows of my dna providers. Who am I really? I would be one of those parents who wouldn't be telling my kid they were adopted until they were old enough to process just what that meant. I knew too young that my father didn't want me, and I believe that a lot of my personal issues stem from a general feeling of unwantedness. Would I have been more of a risk taker, if I hadn't been hurt so early in life? Would I be less shy? Would I be less giving? Would I be less of a door mat, just so that you will like me, please god like me, WHY DOESN'T ANYONE LIKE ME?!?!?!?! Seriously, where is the free counselling baby, I'm in NEED!

Awesome-less

2009-03-17T13:32:00.001-04:00

The awesome-ness of other people blogs/writing style makes me jealous. I wish I didn't suck so badly.

If you're bored, then you're boring

2009-03-12T19:17:00.002-04:00

It makes me giggle when my cat cleans his underside. Mostly he rolls back on his bum and does some freaky yoga move, with his legs stretched out in front of him, sometimes hovering over the couch. This, as stated, tickles me.

Loose what? Lost is what!

2009-03-05T12:23:00.003-05:00

(Ed. don't know how, but this got lost. Here it is, for your reading pleasure, only about two weeks later!)

Ends, my dears. I am at loose ends. Change can't happen fast enough. I knew that the process of job hunting, in today economic climate, would be a long, arduous journey of the most depressing nature. I just didn't realize it would hit so quickly. I have no qualifications. I am a teacher of preschoolers. I have been for my entire adult life. I am no longer interested in the field, in fact, I am quite bothered by it, which causes no end of stress though out my day. Unfortunately, due to my loyalty to the field, I am not qualified to do anything else. The next job I get will be a fluke, a serious stroke of luck, or an incredibly astute person who can see that I will be good at what I do, no matter what that is. It's going to take some time, time which I don't want to have to waste in the hell hole I am in. Le Sigh.

In other news, tomorrow is my labour board hearing against my former boss. I am hoping to come home with a cheque, or the promise of one, and then I can put this behind me. I've been really stressed this week about seeing her again, but hopefully this will be a civil and quick meeting, with results in my favour! (Bad results, she screwed me by using the law in her favour. Fortunately, it looks like she will get audited, which is much MUCH worse for her than the measly sum she owed me!)

Squawking.

2009-03-04T07:27:00.001-05:00

Marley squawks. She is doing it right now. Josh has the late shift this month, so he isn't getting up at the same time as me(which hasn't happenend in a long long time) and Marley is disturbed. She doesn't like her Mummy. She wants her Daddy to get up. Up yours Marley.

In other news, my boss found out that I want to get a new job, and has been doing everything she can to get me to stay. I may be changing positions to a French floater, which means that I get to go to all the classrooms and teach French. That would be nice I suppose. Still waiting for the Girl Guides to call. Man, I really want that job!!!!

Trapped

2009-02-26T13:20:00.002-05:00

It's just how I feel at the moment. Where are you new job opportunity?!?!?! Failing that; Where are you Lotto Winnings?!?!?! I'm this close to hari kari.

Poo TMI ALERT!

2009-02-26T06:54:00.003-05:00

My status message on FB yesterday was something to the effect of changing diapers for a living makes you obsessed with poo(as well as very open about it). Something unrelated is preventing me from sleeping this morning(more on that after it's resolution) and I slowly came to a realization: I have always been obsessed with poo. I thought that it was my job. I think I was wrong. I wonder if there is something wrong with me...... See, here it is; as a child I would paint with my doodies, simply removing my diaper and digging in. I had many a wall to wash up in my youth. As we(read: me and my siblings) got older, we did something that may have been even worse, we fed our dukes to the dog(OMG OMG OMG I can NOT believe I did that!). Eventually my obsession subsided in to charting (in my head) all the different types of deuces that I dropped. Had I ever had an eating disorder, I'd guarantee that it'd be the poop weighing kind. When I got IBS, things got worse for me. The symptoms, and subsequent search for it, made my obsession grow. At one point there was a collection process that I will not describe here! I am now completely unable to drop some kiddies off with out checking them before flushing. Not grabbing them out of there or anything, just looking, making sure everything is a-ok! I think I may have a serious problem. I have to stop with the diapers!

Terrorism

2009-02-17T12:47:00.003-05:00

There was an unscheduled vacuuming. Marley was terrorized, please refer to exhibits a-c for evidence.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Definitely an unhappy kitty. Poor Marley-tron! POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR GIIIRRRRRRRL!

The Rocker

2009-02-10T20:58:00.005-05:00

So I have just watched the movie The Rocker. It is hilarious. I wish I could say more, but this may help you understand:

Curtis: So.. I had no idea real life was so boring
Fish: And soul crushing, don't forget soul crushing
Curtis: That's a nice suit
Fish: *heaves a sigh*I am going to kill you

Watch it. Do it.

Note: Watch the cafeteria scene quoted above for cameos by my former fellow QEP student, Mark Forward and also Chuck's Vik Sahay

Cat; for free, to a good home!

2009-02-07T06:02:00.003-05:00

This is Mar.

My little Marley and I have a love/hate relationship. See... Marley thinks she owns the place, and being a dog person, I have found that hard to handle. Mar used to yell at me to feed her, until I stopped feeding her while she did that. Mar will cry at the bedroom door, not because she is hungry, but because she believes we have slept long enough and should come out and pay attention to her. This is especially prevalent on weekends, when she knows we are awake, and staying home that day. Mar simply demands attention. She gets up on your lap, and will knead you until you pet her. Eventually, you always pet her, even if it is a slight brush just to get her off your lap. To Mar, any attention is good attention. I have been having trouble sleeping lately, so Mar and I have spent a lot of time on the couch together; her kneading me interminably while I try to get some sleep. This morning I refused to pet her. She purred and kneaded, and purred and kneaded, and purred and kneaded. I swear the only thing that protected me from her claws was the thick comforter that I had over me. That's my Marley you see, she kneads you until she claws you, because she knows clawing draws attention! Finally I could take no more(she was kneading my boob you see, and I feared a claw would pierce that blanket, and then my sensitive parts) and I kicked her off the couch. She then proceeded(and continues to do so as I type this) to try to wake her Daddy up. He loves her more than I do, and my little princess knows he will give her all the love she wants! God I hate that cat.

Remember when....

2009-02-05T21:42:00.002-05:00

Some of you(two of the three who read this) must remember when I was supervisor. I remember being miserable. I hated my job. I hated the people I worked with. I hated being out of the classroom. I hated how I was supposed to be able to make decisions, but was never allowed to carry them out. I hated the impotence of the word Supervisor. I am now faced with a decision. The position of supervisor has become available at my new place of employment. I have been asked (separately) by two staff members if I was going to try to get that job. I have said before at work that I would be better than what they have now, but a wet towel would be of more use than what they have now, so that isn't saying much. It may be akin to Obama following Bush. On the other side of things, I am 29. I was 27 last time. I have had two jobs since then, which have taught me a lot. I have grow up a lot in the last two years as well, in my thinking, and behaviour. There is the possibility that I could be better. That I can do this, and was simply following bad advice though naivete. I am completely torn. I have no clue whether or not I want this. I do not love my job anymore. I dislike most of the people I work with, and for. When the second owner returns, we will not get along. It will look good on my resume that I was promoted again, proving that I AM capable, and may truly have been wrongfully terminated(which I am sure many interviewers have heard over and over as an excuse for being fired). A raise would help in the mortgage department. In the end, everything seems to even out. Neither the pros or the cons outweigh each other, and I am left completely confused about what it is that I should be doing. This perturbs me. I dislike feeling this unrest, this lack of course. I have been looking for a job. I would like a position in administration; that is basically what being supervisor is. I know not what to do. I am not at ease.

PHOTO POST!

2009-01-29T12:34:00.004-05:00

I rarely do this, as my photo capabilites are limited by my crappy camera, but I melted some candles in two bottles of wine from my wedding, and I quite like the results. Here you are, from start to finish!

I hope to melt many more candles in them, because I have this thing.... about fire..... and melting shit......

A Year Older

2009-01-26T22:15:00.002-05:00

I turned 29 yesterday. To celebrate we went to Medieval Times!!! I was very excited because I had never been before. The food was very tasty, as was the entertainment. I had a really great time, though I wouldn't suggest anyone go at full price. They are having a buy one, get one free deal at the moment, through the end of February, and at 65$ for two people, it is well worth the price.

Conundrum

2009-01-23T08:34:00.002-05:00

I hate where I work; childcare facilities in general, as well as specifically where I am now, as it draws stupid lazy people and this is a large source of frustration for me. One reason for this is that I have a strong work ethic, and do not believe in being lazy at my job. I am being paid, therefore they should receive my best every day. If I can not give my best, I stay home. Another is the very simple fact that we are teachers. We are teaching the next generation of children to be productive members of society. It is not the place to be lazy. My conundrum is this; do I find a job elsewhere, in another field, abandoning the children I have been teaching, as well as all the others to this fetid pool of laziness? Or do I try to take the supervisors position away from the useless woman who is barely able to perform in the position at the moment? I have it on good authority that I may well have a chance at the position. On one hand, it would look great on my resume that two schools in a row promoted me to supervisor. On the other, I failed once at this job. Am I really ready to do it again? In a place that is so obviously falling apart, at that. It would be great if I could turn the school around, but I have never been a leader. From kindergarten to 0ac, I was the kick around kid. Now I am timid in the face of confrontation, or at times, far too aggressive. I do not know how to influence people in a positive manner, as any time I have tried I've been met with anger, and even hatred. Again, though, I wonder if that is a byproduct of the profession. Are the stupid, lazy people just angry with me because they are smart enough to know they are stupid and lazy? Do I sound like a complete asshole yet?

My Husband.

2009-01-21T08:19:00.000-05:00

I love my husband. Here is one reason why; at 6 am, when he is still mostly asleep, he checks me out as I leave the bed, and I get a most satisfying MMmmm from him. Now THAT is someone who is good for my ego!

Sparkly

2009-01-16T21:25:00.003-05:00

I made some changes. I was told that my background was loud, and may be putting people off. It's probably true, but I am also a loud person, which explains why I went to the trouble of putting that image(which I found while randomly clicking images one day) up as a background and changing my blog to match it. That being said, after having pondered it for a while, I have come to the realization that I may have commited one of those newbie blunders(which is sad as I've had this blog for five years). I may have well as added a bunch of these, and maybe a header with some of this foolishness. I apologize to any eyes I may have offended, and I hope my more sedate look doesn't give you seizures. :D

Thank you, that is all.

Lonely Ego

2009-01-14T20:29:00.000-05:00

My ego is lonely. This is what my sitemeter tells me. I wonder.... do I really get NO traffic, or have I done this site metering thing wrong? Also, if I get no traffic.... does that really bother me? I'll get back to you.

Grym-atron

2009-01-12T12:35:00.003-05:00

My cat snores. Currently he is sitting on his daddy's chair, snoring his little brains out, making his mummy very, very jealous. How I wish to be snoring at this moment.

2009, first!

2009-01-10T22:33:00.002-05:00

So, my first post of 2009. I applied for my marriage certificate yesterday, but I am worried that it will not arrive in time to renew my drivers license and OHIP card.... I was really hoping to not have to pay extra one month after renewing both, just to have my name changed. I suppose it's not a big deal, but it is a lot of time, time which could be spent with my munkey! In other news, the supervisor at my work has come back from Mat-leave. I was really hoping that she would be a great leader, and that things would stop falling apart upon her return. It seems I was mistaken. She has begun harrassing my friend, L, with nonsense and chaff, even writing her up for an infraction another staff gets away with almost daily. They want to get rid of L(for calling the labour board on them), so it seems like New Sup. is going to be the bully for the owner, who spends her days at the school smoking with staff, gossiping, and making my life hard(her 2 year old son is in my class) When will it be that I will have a real job, with a real boss, and real tasks that are not undermined daily. Le. Sigh.

The only true beauty

2008-12-18T19:02:00.003-05:00

I saw a photo today that made me dream of living where I could see a storm coming like that. I can see them here, but only a small edge of the oncoming storm clouds. The crux of this dream, which fits very nicely with the rest of my dream home by the way, is that to see this kind of action, I'd have to live on the Pacific coast, the top of a mountain, or the prairies. Since I do not really want to be 3000 miles away from all of my family, the Pacific coast is out. As well as mountians and prairies I suppose. I wonder how I will find a way to see the beauty that nature provides. I must find a way. When in the woods by my home I am, well more home than when I am in my own home. It doesn't matter what season it is, I love the smell of outside. I like how everything smells crisp. You have to wait for rain(or snow) in and around the city for that smell, but up north, no matter what time of year it is, every thing smells so sharply. I miss spending time outside, and I hope to do it more. This rambling was brought to you by an urge to share a photo, and then a lack of self control. Thank you and good night.

Blegh

2008-12-11T14:08:00.001-05:00

I am so damned tired of being sick. It's like I am always sick. Arg!

Ghost in the Tank

2008-12-06T08:54:00.005-05:00

This morning I was up at 4.30, which is the norm, for about half an hour. Due to the box-like nature of my home, it is very rude of me to bring daylight to the fish tank, earlier than necessary, so I simply sat in the dark, thinking about things. I barely notice the small red light inside the tank that indicates that the heater is on, but today it showed me something very interesting. We have two glass catfish in our tank and they hide all day long. You can catch glimpses of them, but they are never out in plain sight. Last night,in the glow of the red heater light, there were my ghost fish. The two of them were swimming together at the top left corner of the tank, all happy and free in the darkness. After noticing them, I started watching the tank, and then I started noticing our plecos sticking to the walls of the tank. As I watched for the half hour, I realized, our tank is a ghost tank. There are two day time fish, but one hides all day. It is almost an entirely nocturnal tank, which makes it seem boring in the day, but eerily peaceful at night. Watching my Ghost tank was quite calming and I got back to bed very quickly, some nights I don't make it back at all. One day I hope to have a good enough camera to take photos in the dark, and will be able to capture and share the serenity my ghost tank affords me.

Staff Meeting Fun

2008-12-03T22:43:00.002-05:00

Christmas concert is in 7 days. Since we have toddlers, Amy and I will be doing most of the singing. Also, the nice golf shirt that I got for Christmas from work may be a uniform in the near future!!! YAY!!! I love uniforms. The great equalizer<3

LOOK WHAT I MADE!!!!

2008-11-23T10:30:00.003-05:00

BREAD! It was so easy, I never knew!!! Next attempt will be an Italian Loaf!!!!

Message to L.

2008-11-18T19:26:00.002-05:00

It's been a while. I have a friend now, one who I see every day, and with whom I have begun sharing my complaints. I believe that is why I do not write them here anymore. The catharsis of writing was merely my way of working things out, when there was no one around to listen. I started messaging her today, and realized that maybe I should blog it instead; the poor woman must be sick of listening to me complain. I have this problem. It's about work. It started as a problem with my co-worker, and has snowballed in to the realization that when working in an all female environment, there will always be someone there who will take a dislike to me, and cause me no end of torment because of the female tendency to be passive-aggressive. I am also guilty of this flaw, and did something today to prove that, but that is beside the point. I need to work in a co-ed/male dominated field because, simply put, I was raised as a boy. My father did not want to raise the typical woman, being that he is somewhat of a feminist. I know how to change the oil in my car, as well as the brakes, lights, tires and battery. I can build things with my hands, wood and tools. I know the fine art of staining wood, lathing, and what a countersink is. I am not your typical female, and thus, am never going to be comfortable nor successful in an all female environment. The message I wrote to L. is as follows:

no, I not ok. I cried when I came home. I am so tired of being the bad guy. I'm the bad guy with my kids all the time because she keeps undermining me and the decisions I make, she keeps doing little tiny things that make me angry, but look like nothing to other people, I am vocal enough for people to know how I feel, but still respectful enough that I won't just plain call her out on it. I fight depression myself, she doesn't have the corner on that one, and all this stress is only making it worse for me. I am at a point now that I'm going to the DR for meds because I can't control the ups/downs anymore given all the BS I have to put up with at work. I have 8 more days in that classroom and I still feel like I'm drowning every day. I feel worse and worse every day. It's not completely her anymore, but the fact that no matter where I've worked I have ALWAYS had someone like her in my class/school who takes a dislike to me/my ways and then just pokes me and pokes me and pokes me until I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of people who don't respect me. I'm sick of people who assume things about me and then cause me shit because of what they decided. I'm more and more angry because I can't find a way out, because after ten years in the working world, all my experience is childcare, and nobody wants to hire me for anything else. I can't leave my work at work anymore, just as she can't seem to leave home at home.

I believe that there is nothing that I can do. I must somehow learn to accept what is. I can not change what is, so therefore I must learn to live with/around it. All I can do is count down the days, and use each smaller digit as an ever growing life raft floating my away from this sea of hatred and passive-aggressive maneuvering.

That is all.

T-Minus 7 days

2008-10-25T07:27:00.003-04:00

I woke up this morning at about 6.30 am. I wake up every morning at about 6.30, unless I am on the early shift(which thankfully I will not be on again for a long while) in which case I wake up at 6. Usually, if I don't have to be up, I can go back to sleep. Not in the past week. The excitement of my upcoming nuptials is beginning to take effect. So here I am, blogging at 7.30 am, when I am going out for a night of debauchery with my co-workers(and one sister) tonight, and thinking, it's a damned good thing I moved my hair appointment to the afternoon rather than the morning, allowing for some nap-time! YAY!!!!!

Stress-me-not

2008-10-23T20:49:00.003-04:00

So I had a little freak out. There was still a lot to do, and very little time. Eventually I calmed down (after wreaking MUCH havoc) and now that we are a little closer, I have found that each little thing that gets ticked off is like a huge weight off my shoulders. Seven days people!

In My Brain

2008-10-15T21:37:00.003-04:00

I know that I complain a lot about the building I live in as well as my particular geographic location. Recently there was a notice posted with regards to a recent act of public urination, informing the wonderful tenants who live here that it was both disrespectful AND illegal to pee in front of someones door. This is not my complain tonight. It has nothing to do with my neighbours. It really has nothing to do with the building itself. My problem tonight is this: Sirens. I hear sirens all the time. I can hear them right now. This is a photo from my balcony, the arrows point to where I can actually see the highway[when there are no leaves on the trees, and especially now since they cut down the fir tree in the foreground there :( ].

If it wasn't bad enough to be a stones throw away from the highway, the main road to and from the hospital is right behind my building. If it isn't emergency vehicles on the highway(which probably makes up about 40%) it's emergency vehicles on the main street behind me. A lot of ambulances, but also fire trucks. Let us not forget the times that they come screaming down our street with their wretched noise pollution, since there are a great many elderly people in the condos you see in the photo. Oh and did I mention that the cop shop is also in the block on the other side of the main road from me? It's like I live in the Hub'O'Siren. I cannot WAIT to be free of this cement block cell I currently call home. Enough is enough, people were NOT meant to live this way!

Palin/Biden Debate

2008-10-02T21:59:00.000-04:00

What a train wreck that Sarah Palin is! How many times can someone say Maverick, and Newkewlar? How does someone like this even get to be Mayor or Governor?!?!? I fear for the future of the planet, should the backward "win" again. FEAR!

McCain - neither deep, nor delicious

2008-09-27T14:52:00.001-04:00

An interesting theory has recently been brought to my attention. I believe that it is a widely accepted fact among the intelligent and well informed that the Republican party are akin to a den of vipers, constantly plotting their evil ways of ruining the world. This Sarah Palin nomination seems to be the newest in a long string of what are very clever, extremely devious moves on the part of the elephant in the room. After suspending his campaign, there is no way that I can believe that McCain is a real candidate anymore. I think they are leaving the door open for the Dem's, so that THEY are responsible for the hardship the US(and the world economy) will have to endure following the raping the Rep's have commited upon the American people. Then in four years, the Republicans can swoop in and save the day from those Evil Democrats! YIKES!

Psst, Fall is coming

2008-09-16T20:15:00.002-04:00

Today was one of those days where it is just cool enough to remind you that fall is around the corner. I love days like this, when you can't decided on a sweater or a heavy shirt. Runners or Crocs? You go for a walk and when you come back you are energized, but your skin is slightly chilly. Too bad I witness today's beauty from my bed. Stupid flu. GO AWAY!!!!!

LHC First Beam : 4.28pm EDT

2008-09-10T19:40:00.002-04:00

Please Note: The world has not ended.

That is all.

My Typo'd Brain

2008-08-31T07:35:00.001-04:00

There is a post down there that is several letters shorter, as well as a couple (in bold) corrections. I apologize, there is no excuse for my laziness in editing.

Zoo

2008-08-28T14:50:00.001-04:00

I work in a zoo.

That is all.

Su Adamson

2008-08-27T17:35:00.003-04:00

Someone that I knew a long time ago died recently. She was a wonderful, sweet woman, probably one of the nicest ones I've ever known. I hope that she finds peace.

My Hardcore Lame

2008-08-23T08:11:00.004-04:00

I get way too happy when Pacey and Joey get together. It fills me with a joy that brings tears to my eyes. There is a reason for this; it is both saccharine and juvenile. To the latter, I love Joshua Jackson, ever since Mighty Ducks. *Sighs* Top that off with the fact that the Pacey character is the perfect boyfriend; thoughtful, romantic, gentlemanly. It's like a teen girls dream, one which I still have not gotten over. As for the former, Joey and Pacey are meant to be together. The writers were careful to develop the Joey/Pacey storyline in a way that you can see how perfect they are together, and how well their personalities compliment each other. When they have a "moment" you are on the edge of your seat, holding your breath and hoping that everything works out for them. Well, my friends, this is where I make you sick. The reason I love this so damned much, is because it is a mirror image of Josh and I. That's right folks, I only love Pacey and Joey, because they are the picture perfect, TV image of my sweetie and me. Josh loves me like Pacey loves Joey, and vice versa. It's like a vice grip on our hearts. We fight, some times for days. Then it's resolved, our problems seem to disappear and I spend my workday counting the minutes until I get to see him again. I am so very lucky to have what can only be called a dream come true.

Allo? Pico?

2008-08-22T17:16:00.003-04:00

I haven't been here in a while, which is a little sad, since many days I am driving around thinking of all number of things to write here. Then I get home, and I forget what I wanted to say. I wish I could blog from the car, using voice rec software. That would be AWESOME. Then I could embark on an in depth discussion of how clouds are the single most amazing thing within the boundaries of our planet's ozone layer. CLOUDS RULE!!!!! Later

Where I Stood

2008-07-27T14:29:00.000-04:00

I get most of my new music from tv. Thanks SYTYCD.

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood

~Missy Higgins

Pancho's Lament ~ Promise Me This

2008-07-21T18:10:00.002-04:00

It's been a long time since I heard this song. I've got this guilty pleasure that totally sends me to the top of the nerd class, but I love Dawson's Creek. I know. *shame* The first time I heard this song was in the episode where Pacey realizes that he is in love with Joey. I love it. I'm so gay.

is that the sound of knocking at my window
lord I'm trying trying to let you in
but the mirror stares me like a stranger
I'm learning how to begin again

promise me this
you will never understand me
promise me this
you will always always
hold me like you hold me now
hold me like you're holding me now
promise me this

I thought of you when my faith began to wander
it woke me up in the middle of the night
I've so many places I can run to
let's not run away this time

promise me this

Not Smart Enough

2008-07-17T18:54:00.002-04:00

I wish I knew how to fix the little problem I am having there ----------------->

I tried making a longer box, but it messed things up even worse :( Damn you HTML textbook, RELINQUISH YOUR INFORMATION!!!!!!!!!!

Mookie dat!

2008-07-16T21:31:00.004-04:00

I have recently acquired the One Republic Album Dreaming Out Loud and Weezer's Red Album. The 1R album was ok. I feel that when it comes to ballads these boys hit the mark. They are corny, but sing-able(if you don't mind screeching, as this sort of soprano is usually confined to Mariah albums and eunuch choirs). The ballads are my favourites, and are mostly equal in that respect. However, when it comes to their attempts at "artsy" songs or rock-ish music, they sound just that: an attempt. A poor one I must say. Overall it is an ok album, if you like that sort of thing, or you are 12 a twelve year old girl.

The Weezer album is, well, Weezer. Some songs are absolutely wicked. Others are songs that I will enjoy in time. Everybody Get Dangerous is going to take a LONG time. Heart songs was an instant favourite. I am now thanking my lucky stars I work so close to my home. This way I'm not tempted to listen to "that station" so I'm not subjected to their violent abuse of good Weezer songs, placed in super high rotation so that you are sick of them before you even get the album. Also, that Pork and Beans is so wicked it can't be ruined. GO ANTHEM!!!

Thank you.

That is all.

Snippet

2008-07-11T20:52:00.002-04:00

Have I laid it too bare
What is really fair
Since when did you care

I have been lost before.

Remember me?

2008-07-11T20:33:00.001-04:00

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin' what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin' new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin' on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

~ One Republic, Apologize

For The Environ

2008-07-10T21:23:00.001-04:00

I told off a lady in an H3 today. 'Nuff said.

*additionally, it was far more effective, and far less ill conceived than this http://dublinsaab.blogspot.com/2007/07/for-environ.html *

Money!

2008-07-10T18:52:00.001-04:00

Gainfully employed. HUZZAH!!!!!!

Five Across the Eyes.

2008-07-04T16:14:00.005-04:00

So, as some of you may have heard, I am having issues with my former boss about getting paid, which may lead to my eviction from my apartment, depending on how things go on Monday. So, suffice it to say, I am in a foul mood. Probably one of the worst I've been in for an extremely long time. The possibility of homelessness will do that to a person. Today, I may have stepped out of the boundaries of sanity though. I went to see my mum, and on the way I stopped at the mall to get her some nose rings, as she'd lost all of hers(the little devils are hard to hold on to!!!) On my way out of the mall I was kind enough to stop and hold the door for two girls who were walking in. The thanks I got for this gesture was a sotto voce comment regarding my apparel, and weight. I lost my cool immediately. This is how it went:

Chippy: Omg, look at that pot belling hanging out of her shirt.
Myself: WHAT?!?!?!(close to a yell, but mostly incredulity)

She turned around to look at me, shocked I suppose, that I hadn't just let her say this about me. This is where I smacked her. She didn't even have a chance to respond. I hit her square in the cheek with my open hand. I hit her so hard the convenience store clerk looked up immediately. I followed up with:

Myself: You'd better watch what kind of shit you talk, because you can never know what the other person will do. If you hadn't grown up in Oakville, you'd have learned THAT lesson LONG ago.

I do not, and will never regret teaching an Oakville girl (full hair and make-up/designer clothes, shoes and handbags, usually found to be looking down on someone who gives less importance to looks/money and more on intelligence)a lesson. It was one that I hope she will not soon forget.

Gah!

2008-07-03T05:31:00.003-04:00

I can not sleep. I have been up since 4. It isn't a big surprise, given that I may be homeless at the end of the month, and yet I am disappointed. Sleep is the only time I am not stressing out. It's my escapism. I hate to have it interrupted.

Fucked again

2008-07-02T19:09:00.002-04:00

I am currently chasing down my boss for my pay. Why am I constantly being subjected to this type of scum?

*update* I have a cheque. A cheque taped to a door, because god forbid he should see me in person. It is post dated. Is this to ensure some money gets in to the account, or that all the money comes out first?!?!?! We shall see.

<3Kitty Love<3

2008-06-22T15:52:00.005-04:00

My cats rarely cuddle, and I caught them doing it twice in one day!!!

If you look closely you will see that Grym is actually hugging his sister! So sweet.<3

Nature

2008-06-20T07:39:00.002-04:00

Is it a training issue that, for the most part as a society, we seem to think with our hearts and not necessarily our heads.

Les fichues personnes âgées prennent mon temps

2008-06-17T15:38:00.002-04:00

I would be finished work today, but les vieux are slow and thus still not done packing up their classroom. I have to get up at 7 again tomorrow, to go to work for one hour :| *shakes her fist and curses* vieux condamné

Ooooo

2008-06-05T22:05:00.003-04:00

Two weeks to summer break! Matt Good tomorrow night! WOOOOOOOOOOOO

*simmers......a touch....*

The Grief Cycle

2008-05-20T16:06:00.002-04:00

I have been reduced to tears. As a proponent of Karma I wonder, what have I done that has brought this down on me. I sit here with a box of tissues, sobbing uncontrollably, and barely able to type: Yet I push onward, as getting it out is the only way to get rid of it. I have gone through the cycle of grief in the past 7 months. First there was denial. She didn't mean to fire me, she was just angry and she will call me back in tomorrow. Then I was angry. I was absolutely livid that after having worked so hard, and wasted so much of my life, I can be tossed aside as though I were nothing. Next came bargaining; in my pre-sleep wanderings I mulled many possibilities of getting my job back, and what I should do it ensure it. I have now reached depression, and I long for acceptance, since this is possibly the worst part. It has just been compounded by the fact that my former supervisor, whom I called friend once, just blamed me for her lack of response to my emails, and told me in no uncertain terms that she would only give me a phone reference which does me absolutely no good because the last time she did that she screwed me out of a job. So I ask, what is it that I have done in my life to deserve this. I was a good, loyal employee for four years until I was abruptly, and against my will, terminated. What recourse does someone have when they have given away their time, life, and labour to a scum bag who uses people and spits them out. I am driving myself deeper every day, with two bits of knowledge. 1) R's advice was that of someone living vicariously. Everything she told me I should do(this is my mentor and teacher when it comes to being a supervisor) were things that she would SAY she'd do, but then never actually go through with. Were I less naive I would have seen that and not taken her advice. 2) Josh, my mother, my brother, they all told me the same thing, over and over and over: GET OUT! I replied "they are going to make me supervisor" over and over and over. I wasted all that time, because, yeah, I was supervisor, but now I have to tell people in interviews why I moved from supervisor to back down to lead teacher. The only bright side is that at least by telling prospective employers the truth, I won't be hired by any rule-bending a-wads that don't want a stickler in their midst. There is the slim possibility that there is someone out there that is decent and hard working and honest, who would love to have me in their employ. Whom I would love to work for. Where's my rainbow? Forget the end man, I'd just like to catch a glimpse of it. Sadly, this was not as cathartic as I'd hoped, so I shall dull the pain in other ways. Thank you Ego, you are always a good shoulder to cry on.

Beauty

2008-05-10T21:20:00.001-04:00

I get lucky sometimes and a picture that is good gets taken. I agree with Geoff, Facebook rapes your photos. This is better.

Hillary Clinton

2008-05-08T20:43:00.003-04:00

What is she doing?!?!?! With no hope of winning, she seems to be trying to bring down Barak Obama. The C/T in me thinks it's a republican attack, that she is a party infiltrator trying to at once bring down the one thing most republicans never want to see, as well as sully the democratic party, making them look like in-fighters. Either that or someone paid her a lot of money. Either way.... Yikes.

Moral Orel

2008-05-05T21:35:00.002-04:00

How do they get away with this? I thought the right had it all locked up down there. For once I am saying huzzah for freedom of speech!!!

*psst: the title is a link to the show!*

Crazy-go-What?!!?

2008-04-24T19:55:00.002-04:00

I maintain that all old people have gone off their rocker. I wonder if we are under biological attack; ruin by insanity. In the last week I have encountered six different people of the elderly persuasion who have behaved in a most irrational manner. Maybe they are sick of youth disrespect and they "ain't takin it no more!" or maybe it's the moon, but it is way overboard this week. Deemed: Worst Week 2008(so far)

Oh yeah...

NEW LOST TONIGHT!!!!!!!

What the

2008-04-08T16:30:00.003-04:00

So I have little to say, but feel as though I am neglecting my ego.

Dear Ego,

Lately I have been feeling lazy. Lazy about everything. Josh feels it too. The kitchen is a mess. I finally vacuumed and mopped today, two days late. There is a balcony to sweep, cats to brush, course planning to do, materials to be made, and invitations to boot. Still it seems as though maybe I'm getting quite a bit done. I've actually stuck to the workout routine I've created for myself, and the hall closets are both newly organized. The big windows have been cleaned(twice, to no avail, damn you windows, DAMN YOU!!!!!) I've got a guest list, which I did not have two days ago. I think things are quite balanced, now that I ponder on it. The in box will be full when I die as they say!

Onward Jeeves!
Mandy

Cheaters = Traitors

2008-03-19T08:18:00.004-04:00

This whole Elliot Spitzer thing seems to have brought a lot of assholes out of the woodwork. I have run in to a few very disconcerting articles on Digg, related to cheating.

Surviving infidelity

The title of the article itself bothers me. There should be no "surviving" infidelity, beyond that of surviving the aftermath of the breakup that SHOULD ensue. If you feel the need to be unfaithful, then you should leave the person you are with. They are obviously not meeting your needs and it is wrong to betray their trust.

Faithfulness is a Fantasy "Sexual promiscuity is rampant throughout nature, and true faithfulness a fond fantasy" Oy. I thought that what put us on top was our ability to become more than animals. To take nature and manipulate for our own needs. To grow in to something that is not instinctual, but driven by logic and reason. What can I say, other than I am not surprised that when a rich democrat gets caught cheating, suddenly there are a large amount of "It's ok to cheat, it's part of nature" articles popping up everywhere. I am taking my stand here. It is not ok to cheat. It is NEVER ok to cheat. If you cheat, you are a traitor, and should be punished as such. With a vicious ass kicking from the family of the person you cheated on.

Spring has sprung

2008-03-17T10:22:00.001-04:00

It smells like the world is warming up. Mmmmmmmmmm

HAPPY ST. PADDY'S!!!!

5.66Gb, 1356 files

2008-03-10T12:51:00.004-04:00

My music library is respectable, at least in size, if not quality. This in itself caused an issue, as we were beginning to be limited severely by the size of the hard drive on the old computer (now dubbed "The Bitch") For two years now, my library has grown more slowly, constricted by size issues, and more than 70% of it was not on the pc, and only accessible when the disc it was saved on was in the pc. Now that we have a new computer (dubbed "The Beast") I am super excited, cause there is nothing on The Bitch anymore. No programs except what we need to run it, and so that leaves me with a LOT of room for music. Welcome back Library, and play ye well.

March Break

2008-03-10T08:38:00.003-04:00

March break is here, and with it, the beast is born. After a lot of frustration, aggravation, and $50 to the computer guy across the street, the Beast is up and running. Then, after some more aggravation, I have finally connected both of them to the router, and we are off and running!!! Right now, Josh is looking at Digg, while I blog, and life could not be sweeter. I am such a dork. Anyway, hoping to get in some snowboarding these next two weeks, or at the very least some skating. WOO MARCH BREAK!!!!!!!

***************
Paint Your Snow
Add plenty of food colouring to water, and voila, snow paint!
Paint your snow families, forts, paint a picture on the snow!!!!
Just remember, the more food colouring you add,
the stronger your colours will look!
***************

Snow day? NO WAY!

2008-03-05T07:12:00.002-05:00

My phone rang at 6.45 am today. I excitedly jumped out of bed, and answered it, expecting to hear those wonderful words; We are closed for a snow day. This is not what I heard. My boss, strangely, called me and told me that we ARE open, and that I should use my best judgment about whether or not to go in. Now, with the exception of the last snow storm we had(a couple days ago) I have never in my life even said "Whoa, this storm is dangerous". The last storm was an exception, simply because of the near freezing temps, and the sheer ice that was forming under the snow on the roadways. Ultimately, if I want to be paid, I must go in. If I want to drive in the snow, and I assure you I do every chance I get; then I must go in. My best judgment tells me going to work today is the right thing to do, especially since it is only 2 more days until MARCH BREAK!!!!!!! *packs snow gear, and heads to work*

Snow me baby!

2008-03-01T10:49:00.005-05:00

If this prediction is true, this might be the happiest first day of March Break EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

*****This has been retracted. Damn you Weather Network!!!!*****

Good Bye, Stage6

2008-02-27T12:55:00.005-05:00

YEAH ....... Finally they nailed the big guy!!!!!!!!! I was the owner of Moviethis.com and the MPAA kept coming after me for illegal copyright infringement for LINKING to external sites mostly to Stage6 (Which they actually hosted the illegal content)....... I am so freeking happy w00t!!!!!!!!

One thing I do wonder is why they paid an employee to write an internet wide letter to lie about the shutdown..... Losses? They didn't have losses, most of the moderators of the stage6 site were volunteers like you and me. The advertising probably brought in 6-10 grand a day.

Im just glad they got the big guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a response to a question asked at yahoo answers, regarding the shut down of Stage6. I thoroughly dislike the "it happened to me, so it should happen to everyone" attitude, and were I able to speak with the poster personally, I would ream him till next Sunday. I will miss Stage6, whether they are shutting down due to pressure from the MPAA, or because of the reason they are giving; overhead costs. I wonder if this person understands the repercussions of a site being shut down that is as widely known as Stage6, and if he did, would he be so happy? Huzzah, the government is taking over all aspects of our private lives!!! Hurray, the corporations are taking over the government!!! YAY, Big Business will own the world, and we will all be slaves!!!!! Moron.

Snow Make Smart?

2008-02-26T18:51:00.002-05:00

I went to visit my brother today, and on the way home I encountered something interesting. I thought that I would be late to pick up Josh, because of a certain section of highway. We have an HOV lane running the 403 from around Winston Churchill to near the 401 connector. Normally, traffic along this part of the highway crawls at drive time, while the HOV lane seems to fly. Today, though, I never came to a stop, and rarely dipped below 60 km/h. Why, I asked myself, did traffic seem to move better in the snow, than on a sunny, dry day? I looked around me and noticed something different. Everyone was leaving space between them and the car in front. This is something that I rarely see, usually having to nose my way in to a lane. Interesting, how when we don't ride each others asses, traffic moves better! The reason for this seems to be the HOV lane itself. People stay in it until their exit is coming up, then jump out, cut three lanes across, and exit. In the snow, this is no problem, as there is usually plenty of room for them to get across. In dry weather, well the asshole in everyone takes over, and we couldn't possibly leave space between the car in front of us, as then someone else might get in there, and then we'd be further behind. Too bad though that drive time traffic today only added five minutes to my drive, simply because fear out weighed ego.

Why Do I?

2008-02-23T06:20:00.002-05:00

Why do I got to bed at 9:30? Now I'm awake, at 6:30, and no one else is. I'm bored.

Cats are Dumb

2008-02-22T07:36:00.006-05:00

+

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Addicted to Superbugs

2008-02-21T16:05:00.002-05:00

Surprise, Surprise, Oakville has complimentary superbug potion in the mall. Oy Malloy....

Now, I have a thing about antibacterials. Ask any Doctor, Scientist or even Health Inspector, and they will tell you this: Antibacterials are neither necessary, nor healthy. Even time you use this stuff, you are killing off 99% of the bacteria on your hands, right? Stop and think about that for a second. 99%. We have bacteria on our hands that protect our bodies from infectious agents. We have them everywhere. They live on our eyelashes and tongues and even in our digestive systems. We need them. Of course, this is only half the problem. The other side of the coin has people overusing antibacterials and antibiotics, aiding in the creation of what could be the next world plague. Superbugs are not a myth. These infectious little fiends are simply every day bugs which have become immune to the various "Anti's" that we use. One day, we will be the death of ourselves, because we fail to see the long term effects of our foolish meanderings. Long Live Stupidity!!!

This Week in Assholics Anonymous

2008-02-16T08:27:00.003-05:00

I suppose because of the places that I frequent, I encounter a lot of dillholes. I live in a community that is comprised of about 80% upper class. It's poop, because they are mostly full of themselves, and tend not to pay attention to the people around them. Unfortunately, even the middle to lower class people behave in this way, more than likely as a type of defense for the over powering arrogance that oozes from the typical Oakville-ite. I went to pick up Josh the other day, for his lunch. I followed a car in to the lot, which stopped in the middle of the lot, while one passenger got out, moved his car, and the first car entered the spot which was vacated. The second car then pulled in to the middle of the parking lot, and the two men continued to have a chat.

All the while I am sitting patiently, waiting for them to move so that I may park in the visitors parking. I couldn't believe that they would continue their conversation with me sitting right there, obviously wanting to get by, as my car is still running, and I'm not parked, I am in fact blocking the cars that ARE parked. The man standing outside the car is an executive at Josh's place of work, a man who typically thinks little of others, and mostly of himself. It's a sad day when you can't even be bothered to pull your car off to the side of the drive way, in order to allow other cars to get by. I give these two first prize for dickish move of the week!

Toronto is Pussy

2008-02-13T05:44:00.005-05:00

GTA "Hammered"

Maybe I am less a-feared of snow than most people, but having lived in Canada my whole life I find articles like that to be incredibly amusing.

Click me, I dare ya......

2008-02-13T02:55:00.006-05:00

It is 2:30 am, and due to gastro-intestinal dysfunction; I am awake. This sucks, but as a way to get over it, I will blog to my hearts content. I have of late begun watching tv online as there is a plethora of sites where you can see a huge variety of shows. Since I've been working part time, I've been able to keep up with the shows that I usually watch, which are all complete now, as the writers are still striking. This has lead me to some random clicking, in order to find something to entertain my dull mind. I have recently come upon a show called Traveler that was only 8 episodes long. It seemed like a good show, gripping, good story, well acted and written. So why only 8 episodes? Well, let me tell you a bit about the show. It features two grad students, who are on the run from the FBI, after being framed for the bombing of the fictional "Drexler Museum" in New York. They were seemingly set up by their friend "Will Traveler" who turns out not to be a fellow student, but an agent in a covert operation, called "Project Hometown". This is where it got interesting. The main character "Jay" made a glib comment near the beginning of the show that should they catch him, he'd be sent straight to Guantanamo. Project Hometown was being run by the former head of the FBI, who is now the new head of Homeland Security. It's worth watching, even though it is completely unfinished and they have given up hopes of revival. Now, I watch lots of shows that have been canceled unduly i.e. Wonderfalls,Tru Calling,Carnivale, Firefly and never have I seen anyone give up so quickly on their show. The director posted an answers blog explaining the different groups that were alluded to during the course of the eight episodes, effectively ending any ideas that there would be a revival. The conspiracist in me can't help but wonder if this shows canceling was due more to it's subject matter than lack of interest. I've linked the title of this post to the shows page at surfthechannel. Have a gander if you have the time. I think it's worth it.

Oy

2008-01-23T17:04:00.001-05:00

I think that is everything. *fingers crossed*

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

2008-01-23T17:01:00.000-05:00

Written by a friend, thought of you

7 Days until the Final Flight
on Day 1 i will quit everything sobriety for the journey
Day 2 to make ammends
Day 3 To celebrate family and friends
Day 4 To be charitable to those i meet
Day 5 to say my goodbyes to those i know those i touched and fuck you to those who hated me
Day 6 For deep introspection a look at my inner self and put it to words for those to come
Day 7 Take to the skies and attempt to fly the body will fall but the mind will soar
Bert (Monk)

Thursday, May 29, 2003

2008-01-23T16:59:00.000-05:00

Dear Munkey, I love you with all my heart. Remembering things I once knew has made me realize that there is only one person in my whole life that loves me the way I always hoped for. Thank you.

Remember long days past
remembering the scents and sights
remembering the feelings
left far behind
I remember you,
and what you said to me,
and i think about it now,
and it makes me sad
to know that i put more value
on what was once ours
than you ever did
and i realize my luck
to have found it twice
and love the one i do
all the more for it.
Someone who loves me
for exactly who i am
someone who never
wants me to change
someone who takes
everything i say
at face value, and at my word
and doesn't listen to whispers,
sent to rip apart
the one thing i have
the one thing i give
the one thing i want
the love we live.

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

2008-01-23T16:58:00.000-05:00

I am suddenly remembering a wealth of emotions. I miss you. more than words can say. and all I wanted was a minute of your time a second in the long run, but to much to ask at the time. you listened to foolish words and now I'm left to pick up piecing of what is left behind. I read what i wrote and remember everything about that day. Your face, the heat, the smell of you and fresh grass, and I cry for times lost, and never returned. I hope one day you remember me the way i remember you and not the way we've turned out to be. cause i miss that man that stood before me, and told me i wasn't enough. Cause for all your faults i still love you today and hope for only the best. This is a good bye note more than anything because things are unchangeable, but if i had the chance i would never have let you go, miss you that much. I love you. you have a special place in my heart. for my whole life you will be remembered, and fondly at that. It is my hope that one day we will meet again and friendship will remain, for we have a destiny you and me. and i believe it is meant to be.

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

2008-01-23T16:57:00.000-05:00

In the confusion i see you
you're there just as i am
but you are different
you fit in completely
but stand out enough
for me to find you
The one who is in my dreams
the one who is the ONLY one
who understands
even though you don't understand.
no one can understand
there is too much there
and an eternity you don't have
i love you anyway
no matter what
for you are everything and nothing
you are my keeper
and my holder
i am your captive
yet I am free to go
I would leave
but a spell is set
unintentional and unrequited love
are the most painful, and yet
the best for you to learn and try not to repeat
it is your nature
you must repeat it
so you are doomed to the destitute
of loving one and yet loving all
and loving without end
I am love and you are my object
you hold me captive without attempting to
understand and that is why i love you.

Wednesday, May 28, 2003 : Oct 97

2008-01-23T16:56:00.000-05:00

May 28 2003: Ever had your heart broken. I mean Stepped on. Crushed to the point you don't think you can EVER become a whole person again. I have. I cried:
When you finally see the light,
give me a call he said.
When you stop being cute
and you grow up,
gimme a call he said.
Well I've grown up,
and i don't like it,
stuck between cute and pretty,
can't make up my mind
about the things i have put away.
I'm being split in two,
by no one at all,
it could all be over,
if he'd only call,
I hate being dependant,
i hate needing him,
if i could only find him,
I'd tell him what i thought.
He's a hurdle,
thats just an inch too high,
and i can't get past it,
and it's bringing me down.
I'm being split in two,
by no one at all
it could all be over
if he'd only call.
Why are you nice to me,
I'm just a bitch
i can't do any good
my mother told me so
so why do you talk to me
I'm not too bright
I'm not going anywhere
my daddy told me so.
Why do you like me
I'm just a slut
I'm an easy lay,
My ex-boyfriend told me so.
I'm being split in two
by no one at all
it could all be over,
if he'd only call

Thursday, May 22, 2003

2008-01-23T16:55:00.001-05:00

ghI feel like shit.

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

2008-01-23T16:54:00.002-05:00

Hey, Long time. I'm good. Yeah, we're in the new place. It's cool, nice and big, and the furniture looks good. Yeah we're glad. I know. It's cool. Yeah ok, talk to you later. Bye. click.

Monday, April 28, 2003 : Later

2008-01-23T16:54:00.001-05:00

So long ago I remember a time when people payed attention. When I wasn't one of the blurred backdrop. now I look back and I remember that it's always been this way. Bust your ass and people kick it harder. It's all about you, and never about me. doesn't matter who it is. I wish one day something could be about me. Is that selfish. to want back what i give out. to need people. to be alone, and hate it daily. A strong front is always affected, but never really achieved. You've seen my insides, and you pissed in them. You make me want to cry. When will i have someone who wants nothing from me but my presence. A life never known haunts me and the world collapses. and I'm hurt. So frightfully unimportant. Who would miss me. Famliy yes..... but anyone else? no. I'm all alone in a world so big It scares me and Even with love I'm still not ready. not ready to be the right person. not ready to be what you want. not ready to be accepted. That bullshit. I'm never going to be becasue I'm to fucking different. Must be nice to have people that love you. I wouldn't know. And I cry. For the lost ones that never were and the found ones that will never be. So i cry. And you'll never know. Cause your all so wrapped up in your tiny little problems that can never be seen. not really. Who knows me? Who knows what I'm really like.
I will die and the world will forget. Cause you left so long ago and there is no one to tell them who I am, and I'll never recover from that. Cause I'm always left behind. Why didn't you take me with you. Cause now I cry. And I miss you. More than even I can imagine. My wings are folded away till the day when I can spread them, work out the cramps and fly away, like the girl in the video. I will. one day. And then they'll know how lucky they were. to have known me. But until then i cry. And cry. And cry tears that will never stop because you will never come back, and I will always be alone. I'm so full of words that pour out of me and it hurts my soul to think that no one will ever realize why i care. So thats me. wounded soul, folded wings and waiting for the day when I can be set free from all this pain, and then we'll be together and my life will have been worth it.

Monday, April 28, 2003

2008-01-23T16:53:00.000-05:00

Don't let him run you down, cause i love you like no other and I know in the end it'll all turn out ok, cause that what friends are for. I'll be the wall you lean against, the call you make for help, the wind that lifts you to new heights. And never once will i question you, for you are what you are and I love it all the same. Never change for anyone, cause no one is worth that work. You are who you are and if they can't accept it then tell em all to hell. Cause you are the Best person in the whole world, and If i can love you for that then they should too. Never once should you question yourself. Don't let him do it. No one is worth that kind of pain. That kind of unwillingness, that kind of life. Where you have to watch everything you do and say. It's not right. Let him go. Don't let him run you down.

This is for everyone who reads this. I love you all. And you are all the best.

Sunday, April 27, 2003

2008-01-23T16:52:00.000-05:00

In one week today i will be waking up in my OWN apartment. Well, OURS at any rate. I can't sleep. I'm nervous, but very happy. I know well be ok. Everything is starting to look nicer. like a life of our own. I've never been so happy. *freaking out* I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!! ALso I'll be glad to get away from the thieves here, but i can't help but wonder what kinda of Oakville punk is going to plague me at the new place. I wish we could REALLY move away. to BC, or the east coast. Just somewhere new. But any new place is new, and to experience it with the one you love is exceptional. It will be perfect. A life. Of our own. *sigh*

Ego

Ok I did it

Coronation Street, I love thee

Where the Hot

Whoozat now?

Ouch

Early Shift

Walking Tour

Re: Camping

Le Camping

Bad - Acting or Editing

The Truth About Bears

Good Morning

Hmmmmm

Bones

Blog-o-what?

<3

Bugs

Lost Things

Awesome-less

If you're bored, then you're boring

Loose what? Lost is what!

Squawking.

Trapped

Poo *TMI ALERT!*

Terrorism

The Rocker

Cat; for free, to a good home!

Remember when....

PHOTO POST!

A Year Older

Conundrum

My Husband.

Sparkly

Lonely Ego

Grym-atron

2009, first!

The only true beauty

Blegh

Ghost in the Tank

Staff Meeting Fun

LOOK WHAT I MADE!!!!

Message to L.

T-Minus 7 days

Stress-me-not

In My Brain

Palin/Biden Debate

McCain - neither deep, nor delicious

Psst, Fall is coming

LHC First Beam : 4.28pm EDT

My Typo'd Brain

Zoo

Su Adamson

My Hardcore Lame

Allo? Pico?

Where I Stood

Pancho's Lament ~ Promise Me This

Not Smart Enough

Mookie dat!

Snippet

Remember me?

For The Environ

Money!

Five Across the Eyes.

Gah!

Fucked again

<3Kitty Love<3

Nature

Les fichues personnes âgées prennent mon temps

Ooooo

The Grief Cycle

Beauty

Hillary Clinton

Moral Orel

Crazy-go-What?!!?

What the

Cheaters = Traitors

Spring has sprung

5.66Gb, 1356 files

March Break

Poo TMI ALERT!